Stories over Meals

            

From left to right:  Shiokomar, Naveen, Vijay, and Michael

Shiokomar, Naveen, and Vignesh

Naveen, Vijay, Shiokomar and Predip (back)

Do you eat with your family?  Isn’t it nice sometimes to sit in a dining table and catch up on each other’s lives?  Doesn’t it feel nice to sit with your family and talk about what happened in your day, what happened at work, what happened at school, what’s new with others?  When we have friends we haven’t seen for a while, don’t we set up a coffee meeting with them or a lunch date with them to just sit and catch up with each other’s lives and update each other on what’s new?             

When families eat together, they are enjoying one another’s presence.  While I am staying with the brothers, I have mass with them, eat meals with them, and talk about life.  Through our meals we talk about different current events around the world that affects us, types of spices, favorite food, and even life in general.  Curious as I am, I always ask the brothers why they chose the religious path.  I receive various answers, but they all mean one thing:  Doing something to impact another person’s life.  Without meals with the brothers, I probably won’t know the many things that I know about them.  Even for half an hour I am able to learn new things about them that I’ve never learned before.  That means a lot to me because everyone could be at different places at different times, but here they are, spending 30 minutes with me and talk about whatever comes up.  One topic leads to another and another leads to a few more.  Then I take some time out of my evening to visit the boys and sit with them while they are having classes. 

            

For 15 minutes, I am able to see what they are learning in school.  I learned about their favorite subjects and even play hang man with them.  They love hang man and even when the bell for meals come, they still want to play.  During meals, I sit with the boys and ask them about life.  I ask them to teach me how to pray their prayer and they are willing to teach me.  During their meals, I ask them what they are having and they teach me new words every day.  Although that language barrier is there, it never stopped us from communicating.  If we have to act out what we are saying, we would do so.  We wouldn’t let something like a language place a barrier between us.  During meals, I learn about their religion, their favorite food (very interesting diet), and favorite games.

            

After their meals, we all go for a walk and play some games in the dark.  Tonight, I learned how to play statue (which is like freeze), and I learned to look up on the sky and appreciate the natural beauty that God gives us every day.  Tomorrow, I know that the relationship between the boys and I will be stronger and I’m looking forward to it.  Although I don’t go out of the campus, I am learning about the boys more every day and that’s all that matters because I came earlier to get to know the boys and create a relationship with them and not see the temples earlier than the others.  

Until then<3

Kristeme

Dream Big

     

     

When we were younger, didn’t people ask us what we would like to become?  When I was younger, I always told people I wanted to be a lawyer.  Even until now, I still would like to try to pursue that career.  When we were younger, we dreamt so big that even the sky wasn’t the limit.  We all had a career in mind:  whether its doctors, pilot, police officer, firefighters, or nurse.  Here at REDS (Ragpickers Educational and Development Schemes), the Marianist community along with their teachers, gives these boys hope for their futures.  Being on the streets, they didn’t think that they would become something, but here, they are sparked by their own interest:  plumbing, welding, carpentry, or tailoring.  They are so great at doing their job and although it’s a tough discipline, they managed to handle all of the rules that are placed on them. 

            

As I read their profile, most of them write that they would like to become the best that they can be in plumbing, tailoring, carpentry, or welding.  They all wrote that they would like to become somebody one day so that they can help their parents.  So today, I decided to ask a few of the boys what they would like to become when they grow up.  Their faces when they share their future careers with me show so much hope and so much innocent that I know they are very passionate about what they want to become. 

            

I asked Arvin what he would like to become and he said he would like to become a doctor.  Chendras would like to open a shop and become a welder.  Martin would like to become a pilot.  Edison would like to become a scientist.  Rajash would like to become a soldier.  Punit would like to have a rice shop and become a vendor.  Vignesh would like to sleep and eat.  As you can see, they all have dreams and also they know how to joke around with me.  Many of these boys are very hopeful with their future.  Some don’t like to go to school, but are very good at learning new skills.  Others like to go to school because they want to become a doctor or a scientist one day. 

            

Whatever they want from their future, I just wish the best for all these boys.  When my sisters share with me what their future careers would be, I always tell them that you need to work hard and study hard so that you can become a doctor or a dentist when you grow up.  I wish that I could remind the boys the same way every day.  I wish I am with them throughout their journey in life and be there cheering for them when they reach their goals, but God knows that I will be with them spiritually wherever their future holds.  I have come to love these boys as my tambi (little brothers) that I don’t wish for anything but success, happiness, and love for these boys.  

Love always<3

Kristeme

Sari - A stronger bond through clothing

Good morning my fellow readers.  Greetings from Bangalore, India!  Did you ever have that feeling that even though you are away from your family you still have that same relationship with the people you are staying with, wherever you may be.  So my story today is how a Sari, a typical outfit of an Indian woman, has created a closer bond amongst the boys, Mary, and the other staff here at REDS.   Who would think that clothing could spark such closer relationship with others?  Well I didn’t think it would, but little did I know that it will make the bond closer between the boys, Mary, and I. 

           

Mary had sent two of the boys to get me from my room to tell me that she wanted to speak to me.  Mary is called “Ama” or mother by the boys here.  She is the cook for the boys, but she is also the mother figure for these children.  The boys came to knocking at my front door saying “Ama wants to see you.”  I didn’t know what to expect because she has never called for me before.  I walked over to the kitchen, where she was cooking, and she grabbed my hand and led me to a little door right around the corner of the kitchen. 

            

That little room was her house.  It looked like a studio and there were three people living there:  her husband, her son, and herself.  In that room I noticed that there were bracelets, powder, hair brush, flower lei, and a rich red sari hanging from her line right above her bed.  She told me to turn around and she brushed my hair, braided it, and pinned the fresh flower on the back of my hair.  It reminded me of my own mother when she would fix my hair and placed powder on my face.  She was like my own mother here in India. 

            

She then closed the door of her room and told me to put on this clothing.  I did exactly as what she told me to do and she started to wrap this rich red sari around me.  She does it in such a smooth way that I was just so amazed by everything.  I didn’t know that such clothing could turn any woman into a beautiful Indian woman.  She ran her fingers through the clothing to smooth the creases and in about 20 minutes, I became an Indian woman.  What amazed me is that she placed this powder on my forehead and everyone said that I looked exactly like an Indian woman from the North. 

            

I walked around the compound in my sari, rocking it wherever I go, and the boys smiled at me.  They then come to me and said “You look like Indian woman” and even Ravi Paul, the welding teacher said that I looked like an Indian woman from the north like the state of Jarkhand.  A woman from Hawaii that came to India for the first time is complimented by saying that she looked like an Indian woman from the North was very nice to hear.  It was easy to blend into the community and that also made it easier to create a relationship with the boys. 

            

Little did I know that a Sari was going to help me create a stronger bond with the boys and the rest of the Marianist community here in India.  All the cultural difference that I have experienced so far here in India, I will bring with me wherever I go. 

Love always, 

<3Kristeme 

"Akka"

            

In America, we call our siblings as little sister, big sister, little brother, or big brother.  In Tamil, it is quite different.  They say “Tangechi” (little sister), “Akka” (big sister), “Tambi” (little brother), and “Anna” (big brother).  Since the REDS are all boys and it is run by the Marianist Brother, they don’t really have a sister figure.  They have a cook name Mary who they call “Ama” (mother).  Being here for five days, I learn how to communicate with the boys more and more and that smile on their face when I get a sentence in Tamil right just warms my heart.  Today is the day that I will never forget:  I am no longer Madam, but I am Akka (big sister) to these REDS boys. 

I took the opportunity to get to know the boys more today by doing various things with them.  I woke up at 6:00 a.m. (something that I don’t do on a regular basis) and made sure that I ran with the boys around the field today.  They laughed at me as I got in the very back of the line.  Maybe it was because I was this big girl who is running with these fit boys or maybe because they were amazed that I was actually going to run with them.  Whatever it was, it made them giggle a little.  We ran 3 rounds around the soccer field and did some morning exercises.  Lord knows how painful it was to do squats 50 times with my hands out, but I sucked it in and just embrace every moment with these boys.  Of course they looked behind to check up on me and see if I was doing it and giggle more and more as I stood there shaking my pain away every so often. 

            

After morning exercises, the boys are usually cleaning the compound at 7:00 am.  There I decided to play with Rajash, a little 10-year old boy who is just filled with innocence.  I taught him to say “My name is Rajash and I am 10 years old.”  We pushed each other on the swing, played on the seesaw, and I took the courage to go on the slide and followed what he was doing.  We laughed at each other and even though there was a language barrier between us, that didn't stop us from connecting with each other emotionally.  We became friends and he called me “akka.”  That heart-warming feeling when you become a family to the eyes of the person who sees you as a stranger just stayed with me throughout the day. 

            

Then, I got to know the boys more by asking them to teach me Tamil.  I was speaking their language with the help of the boys and the smile on their faces when I got a sentence right was just so powerful and so innocent that I felt that it was very sincere on their part when they say “very good.”  I asked them how many brothers and sisters do they have and what the name of their siblings and parents is.  That led to the boys opening up to me about why they are here in Deepahalli.  Their stories moved me because I have never experienced that that could happen to such an innocent boy at such a young age.  Instead of feeling pity for them, I asked them about what their favorite sports is and their favorite unit and most of them love cricket and football, but had various answers about their favorite unit. 

           

After their classes, I decided to play catch with the boys and man can these boys run and throw really hard!  They are so good at catching and throwing that they kept teasing me because I would grunt every time I miss the ball.  I played soccer for a little bit, but I got really confused because I didn't know who was on my team.  So the other boys asked me to play this game where you hit the ball with the side of your head and we split into two teams.  We laughed at each other as we hit, catch, and miss the ball together.  That created a stronger bond among all of us and I was no longer ma’am, but I was sister or Akka to these boys.  They have opened up to me and now we are connecting, despite of the language barrier that is trying to keep us apart. 

            

Being akka and not “madam or ma’am” means a lot to me because to them, I am just a person who will come in their lives and might not care about them, but with just five days, they have learned to open up to me and gave me a chance to get to know them.  These boys have shared their stories to me and we have laughed together.  I am their big sister and the protector if they are ever bullied by the other boys.  They have given me the opportunity to be a big sister to brothers, because I have never had any brothers and it’s so different from just having sisters.  They’re a lot tougher, but when I am around, that manliness in them just fades away and they are young men who is trying to become someone in this world, despite their history.  

Until next time<3

XOXO

Kristeme<3

There is a rainbow after the rain

Namaste!  Greetings all the way from Bangalore, India in a village called Deepahalli.  I haven’t written for 2 days and I feel like I have so much to tell all my readers about my stay here in India.  So this is going to be a very long and hopefully not a boring story for all of my readers because I want to take you on the same journey as I am in, here in India. 

            When I was back home in Honolulu, Hawaii, I am always immersed in technology, mobile phones, and continuously placing my nose or my face behind a computer screen.  I feel that it was my only way of communicating with others and to become close to others.  Little did I know that there are other ways to be able to communicate with others without having to open my laptop or check my text messages on my iPhone. 

Being in Deepahalli and seeing the simple lives that the boys are living makes me relive my younger days when I was back home in the Philippines.  The backyard and the fields were my playground:  different games were played for as long as I can play it every day and playing with children because everyone were my friends when I was younger.  That’s how I feel when I am exposed to all these boys.  They teach me every day to be simple and to embrace the people that surround me.  That’s why when I get a chance to create relationships with the boys, I take the opportunity to do so.  That’s where my story starts:  Creating relationship with the boys here at REDS. 

Today is Sunday here in India and for the past two days, including today, I didn’t call my parents, not because I didn’t want to, but because I wanted to take the time to create a relationship with the boys here at REDS.  On Saturday, the boys have half day, so after 12:30 pm they are free and don’t have to work until Monday.  So yesterday, I was very busy trying to make sure that I taught the children how to dance and to make sure that the dance would become a success.  I was very nervous because this was going to be the first time that I am going to be teaching the boys how to dance and I just kept thinking “Kristeme, just have fun and everything else will fall into place.  The boys will enjoy your company and they will be able to catch on to the steps.”  So that’s what we did, we danced like there was no tomorrow, sweat dripping all over our faces trying to learn the “Electric Slide” and “Wobble.” 

That was the highlight of my day and I enjoyed every single bit of it.  Words can’t express how excited the boys were to dance and how excited I was to teach them.  After I taught them how to dance, they wanted to dance to Tamil songs and so Bro. Praveen gave me his thumb drive and I watched them dance to Tamil songs for a while until my laptop decided to be low battery.  Then we all went to the soccer ground to play soccer, or they call it “football” here.  I decided to play volleyball with the religious scholars and our team won 3 out of 4 times.  We had so much fun laughing and enjoying a game of volleyball and forgot about time.  I made new friends with the other Marianist Brothers and got to know them.  Then I asked the brothers if they could take me out of the compound and see the village and they agreed to take me out the following day, after mass and breakfast. 

After mass and breakfast this morning, I asked Bro. Benod if he can take me outside of the compound to see what it’s like out here.  So at 9:45, we went for a walk outside of the compound and visited the different villages.  I saw so many cows and again and Bro. Benod laughed at me when I told him that I haven’t seen cows on the side of the street in Hawaii because I live in the city and there are no cows here.  Then I told him that when I see horses on a ranch, I park my car and take pictures of them because I find them very amazing.  He continued to laugh at my stories and we continued to walk. 

We walked and talked about different cultures here in India.  I thought that there are only one Indian culture, but little did I know that there are different cultures for different villages and different states here in India.  In this conversation that we had, I learned that the family of women pays a dowry to the family of men to “prepay” them for the years ahead, since the bride lives with the family of the groom.  I also learned that many women are abused if the dowry is not paid on time by their in-laws.  I also learned that doctors don’t also tell the gender of the baby because if they find out that it’s a girl, the mother might try to kill the baby, since a daughter will cost them a lot of money later on in their lives.

He was very good at keeping me company throughout our walk today.  I learned that in India, people walk on the left side and not the right.  I learned to eat with my hands and I enjoyed every single bit of it.  I took many pictures of our walk today, along with that the many Hindu temples that I have passed by and took pictures of and the snake that I have encountered today on our walk.  Bro. Benod and I walked for about 3 hours and we had lunch at 12:30 and I told the other brothers about our walk and they were shocked that we were walking for a very long time.  Even I was surprised that we walked for that long, but the time passed by very quickly because I was enjoying his company, his stories, and the different views of the surrounding. 

Then I went back to my room and took a nap and didn’t wake up until 8:00 pm and I feel really bad because Bro. Praveen have been knocking at my door but I was so tired that I didn’t hear it.  So, when I was awake, Bro. Raj checked up on me and asked if I had supper and he took me to the community house to have dinner.  Then we talked more about REDS and the boys here and he is such a great person to the boys here at REDS.  Many brothers and other Marianist members don’t understand the mission and vision of the REDS program here at Deepahalli, but Bro. Raj just have so much knowledge about the program and have so much love for the boys that he inspires me to keep pushing myself towards learning about these boys and making sure that by the end of my journey here, I would be able to learn a lot about these boys and leave such a mark in their heart as well. 

Every day, I learn more and more about REDS and the lives of the boys and every day, I fall in love with the boys more and more.  They are such sweet children and even talking to them and learning their language makes them so happy.  These boys have had a really bad childhood and seeing them smile through it all, remind me that God has a place for every single one of us and we just have to trust in him.  There is always going to be a rainbow after the rain.  

XOXO

<3Kristeme

Risks

In life, don't we all take risks?  Growing up don't we take our first baby steps?  Don't we take our first tooth out?  Don't we take a risk in taking flu shots?  Don't we take risks by going to college in another state?  Life is all about changes and with out change, there is no growth.

For me, the risk that was worth taking is talking to Fr. George Cerniglia from Chaminade University of Honolulu to help me come to India and work with the brothers and boys here in Deepahalli.  Well, I spoke about it and brought it up and look where I am?  I am in Bangalore, India, in a village called Deepahalli.  How crazy is that?  Very crazy and people look at me like I am weird, being a woman traveling to India by herself.  I admit, it has been a very anxious plane ride with lots of tips to give and looking out for myself, but hey I made it here in one piece!  God, Master Equilibrium, and my Guardian angels have been with me and literally looked out for me and help me get through the danger of traveling to India on my own.  I'm not gonna lie, when I got to Mumbai, people looked at me with this weird look.  I don't know if its because I am a woman, but a police officer actually snobbed me, but hey I said good morning and smiled as he continued to stab me with his mean look.  Also did I mention that there were only 5 women on an Air India flight to Bangalore! Omgosh that was crazy.  I counted the women and there were a few.

When I got to Bangalore and left the airport, I was very scared because I'm in a new country.  Then Bro. Raj Mohan and Bro. Anthony recognized me from all the people that came out of the airport.  That was a relief.  I just wanna thank them for picking me up and even until now, I still thank them.  They didn't get any rest and they drove 3 hours to Bangalore airport just to pick me up.  They are the sweetest and most humbling men, along with the rest of the brothers that I met here in Deepahalli.

When I got to Deepahalli, I felt like the nastiest person ever with sweat sticking on my body and no shower for 2 days.  I finally got my room and my own shower so after I unpacked, I decided to take a shower because I just felt so dirty.  I walked outside and called my parents to let them know that I am safe because I didn't get a hold of them until I got to Deepahalli and they were very worried.  After, I introduced myself to the boys and they were so humbling and sweet 14 year olds that looks like they are only 10!

Then, I had lunch with the other Marianist Brothers and spoke to a Fr. who was on retreat (I know his name, but not at the top of my head sorry:( ).  We talked about democracy in India, poverty, women power, culture, and tradition.  It was a very interesting story that I heard from him and I swear my lunch was about 1 hour because there were so many interesting things that he spoke to me about.  Then I went to my room, set my alarm clock at around 6:00 to wake up for supper and mass and guess what?  I didn't wake up until 3 am!!! Omgosh the room was so dark and I was freaking out.  From 3 am to 6 pm, I read my Leadership book, showered, and went outside to greet the boys a good morning.  We played cricket this morning and they taught me to just be simple and stop worrying about everything.

So far, I believe that this has been the greatest risk that I took.  Like Robert Frost's book "The Road Less Taken" I feel that as a woman or as a person, this is the road less taken.  India is not a very safe place for anyone, especially a woman, but here I am feeling so safe and secure in the protection of God, the Marianist Community, Master Equilibrium, and my Guardian Angels.  I know that they are with me at all distances.

Until next time:) Will keep you updated:)

XOXO
Kristeme